🔗 Share this article

“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. We’re advising all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into tinned provisions and hunting rifles.” This nugget of sage advice comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, speaking, spectacled member of the oozy monster mob that overruns Manhattan’s ultra-modern Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s zany follow-up Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s nothing more than an investment tip from one monster to another. However, oddly enough, it’s also pretty solid existential counsel. Truly, consider my perspective.

When things go bad, the biggest mistake you can do is take things too seriously. The Brain Gremlin understands this. In fact, most of the dentally-gifted beasts that inhabit Dante’s wild 1990 film (arguably his best) possess the same knowing, self-referential comic sensibility regarding the blurry line separating the mundane and absolute bedlam. It’s one element of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that maintains my loyalty – and the older I get, it’s the underlying idea that strikes the deepest chord.

A Youthful Fixation

Understandably, my attachment to this movie wasn’t born on such an deeply thoughtful note. Growing up, we possessed merely a few well-worn videocassettes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a thick former-rental sleeve almost certainly acquired from an independent video outlet and featuring grimacing beasts on its worn-out artwork. I was instantly captivated and these films wasted no time embedding themselves inside my small, malleable brain. From then on, they became an near-everyday part of my childhood viewing routine.

Dante’s first film commonly garners all the accolades, thanks primarily due to its status as a semi-scary seasonal fave – and don’t get me wrong, I’ve watched Gremlins an incalculable number of times. Nevertheless, its sequel infrequently obtains the same level of elevated esteem, which feels criminal. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d lock myself inside and pop it in. When I acquired my personal TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. With repetition, it etched itself permanently in my mindset. If my parents observed this fixation, they appeared unbothered.

Subtler Delights and Pop-Culture Nuggets

As I got older, new insights enriched multiple watches, amplifying the pleasure of watching little green monsters gleefully trash a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon the eventual commander-in-chief Donald Trump, with his auburn-haired worker Marla (Haviland Morris) alluding to his one-time partner Marla Maples. Thankfully, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his genuine article inspiration.

The “doomsday” video Clamp plays during maximum monster mayhem? I discovered it was modeled after a genuine “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner as a contingency for the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante made a special effort to film varying versions of a meta sequence where Gremlins take over the very film you’re watching. A version for theaters, another for home video and television, each delivering a smirking slice of meta pop-culture magic before the term was even a thing.

A Persistent Appeal

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that captured my attention as a child, this hidden treasure kept me hooked as an adult. Eventually, I even spoke to Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation revealing to me he made the movie with the express purpose of mocking those who loved its goofy-but-heartfelt predecessor and desired a sequel. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he gleefully confessed. This cartoonish rebelliousness and determination to not take his sequel as solemnly as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only increased my affection for it.

When I went through a unexpected loss in the family recently, I was astonished to realize that, during my deepest grief, all I felt compelled to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Odd, no? Possibly not. The nostalgic calm it provided was needed to dilute my mind’s grief morass – but the perspectives it had bestowed upon me as an adult were just as useful.

Like Gremlins tearing apart a genetics laboratory, there’s certain elements in life you just can’t control. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin agrees completely. Sometimes, you have to emulate them: welcome the pandemonium, invest all your resources into preserved goods and firearms and try not to view the world with undue solemnity.

It’s robust worldly wisdom from a most improbable origin – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will always be my go-to cinematic solace.